The following is a 2002 interview with Breehn John Burns and Jason Johnson, creators of Beyond Grandpa. It was conducted by Gabrielle Hamaoui for the Miami Beach fanzine, RANDOM. 1. Who exactly does what at Lone Sausage Productions? BREEHN: So far, Lone Sausage has developed a number of projects, but has only made two films: Beyond Grandpa 1 & 2. We all have jobs separate from the production company (well, most of us), but when we're pumpin' out the cartoons, it goes like this: Breehn: Director, designer, writer, voice artist, editor, master. Jason: Writer, voice artist, musician, robot sidekick. Justin Hunt: Designer, writer, animator, voice artist. Gary Driver: Writer, voice artist, musician. Paul Chien: Lover, man of the people, head of the Lone Sausage Dancers. Joshua Rude: Tech guy, cow thief. JASON: Basically, it's like this: I refuse to stay in one place for too long, so Breehn gets mad, and then Justin makes up the funny stuff for which Breehn takes all the credit (AND every available copy and edit) and subtly coerces me into taking credit with him. And sometimes, when we have girlfriends, even THEY get credit as well. Nobody gives ANY credit to CHRISTOPHER CONGLETON™ though, (who is actually responsible for the entire Beyond Grandpa world), because we are the Masters of CHRISTOPHER CONGELTON™. We actually have another company, incidentally, whose name is "Breehn & Jason Are The Masters Over Chris Congleton™ Inc." or B&JATMOCC™ for short. BREEHN: Can I help it if you have a poor work ethic? It's always, "I can't be cooped up," and, "But what would Jesus think about Grandpa Massaging His Huge, Filthy Tits?" So you run around Washington with your pants down while I stay home and toil all goddamn day, only to have you bitch about it!? I'll admit Justin did at least half of the work on Beyond Grandpa 2, but I didn't see you complaining when you made at least three times the money he made for doing only a fraction of the work he did, if that! And yeah, we pretty much are the masters of Chris Congleton™. Sad but true. JASON: Don't MAKE me GET UP! BREEHN: Bring it, bitch! ( Slapping and hair pulling ensues.) 2. What made you decide to make a card game about Grandpas? BREEHN (Finishes crying): Here's the story - Jason and I were sick and tired of old people, and we thought, it's high-time someone really put them in their place, you know? Just kidding. We just liked making games. Storytelling-style card games with lots of absurd characters and rules. I think the impetus of Beyond Grandpa was a character called, "Grandma Locked in a Box." Suddenly it became clear that old characters in unfortunate situations were an untapped well of hilarity. JASON: The Grandpa card game is secondary to a story-telling game we created that has at least 30 characters. Over the years and unceasingly inspired by this initial game, we amassed about 200 grandpas, which reside on what is affectionately called The Grandpa List. Then the mafia showed up, and the rest is herstory. BREEHN: It was called "A Very Special Unicorn" (for no particular reason). That's actually where Chris Congleton™ entered into it, and the point at which we began to take mastery over him. Chris™ created the original card game, and Jason and I grabbed it, pushed him down and ran away. 3. Who inspired you? BREEHN: In general, John K., Bill Plympton, Jim Henson, Drew Struzan, Arthur Adams, Bill Watterson, Mike Mignola, Mr. Bungle, Joseph Campbell and Paula Abdul for her feisty, winner attitude. JASON: Jim Henson, old Warner Bros. stuff, E.T., my actual grandpa, John Williams, John Kricfalusi, Mike Patton, Matt Groening. 4. Where do you see Grandpa in ten years? BREEHN: Grandpa seems to have a life of his own. It would be hard to predict, but some pretty big names in sho-bidness have expressed their fondness for the films. Right now Grandpa is tied up in some secret projects that may or may not ever make it to television. JASON: How could Grandpa POSSIBLY make it to ten years from now? If he had a time machine, though... BREEHN: Grandpa installed a Flux Capacitor on his wheelchair, but getting up to 88 miles per hour is a real strain on his heart. Plus, he bursts into flames every time. 5. What kind of audience did you expect to attract with the Beyond Grandpa cartoons? BREEHN: People like us, I guess. JASON: I hadn't even thought about it. BREEHN: Jason thinks it's uncool to think of anyone but himself. JASON: Breehn likes to appear as an objective "man-of-the-people" by pretending to include others. In reality, he routinely talks shit about EVERYBODY. 6. Will there be a third Beyond Grandpa video? BREEHN: Mmmaaybe. JASON: noway. BREEHN: I actually made part three a while ago, but never told Jason. 7. How was Grandpa put on Spike and Mike's Sick and Twisted Animation Festival and at the Sundance Film Festival? Who contacted whom? BREEHN: I lived in San Diego when we first started work on the cartoon, and Spike & Mike are based out of La Jolla, so it was just a matter of going up there and dropping off a rough draft of the film. They called us back and said, "Cool - go in this direction or that." There was a great line producer there at the time named Victoria (I don't know her last name) that really guided us on that first film. Then Spike Contacted us for the sequel, which he produced. The Korn Sick & Twisted Tour and the Sundance Film Festival were both arranged by Spike. JASON: We wanted to kick some food to the masses. 8. What's the deal with Grandma? BREEHN: Our studies on Grandparents have shown that more often than not, the Grandmas are social animals and the Grandpas prefer isolation - or at least, that's what they end up getting. Grandmas move in packs while Grandpa sits alone, off to the side somewhere, unable to make out most of their wives’ conversations. See the "Grandpa Speaks Out" section of our website for more information. JASON: Neither of them seem to question the fact that they're married to one another. Therein lies the beauty. Grandma goes about her chatty, shallow, social life while Grandpa has no idea that time has passed as he sits in his recliner or cluelessly empties his bladder into the morning exercise pool. It is beautiful and inevitable for us all. 9. Will the cat be all right? JASON: NEVER QUESTION MEL C.! BREEHN: The cat (his name is Mel C.) is immortal. 10. How did Little Tiny Grandpa manage to get the birds and bacon out of his eyes? BREEHN: He didn't. They just get pushed further in. JASON: The appropriate query is: How did he get birds and bacon IN his eyes? We don't know this. 11. What do you do when not working on Lone Sausage? BREEHN: Right now I draw a comic book called GloomCookie published by Slave Labor Graphics, the company that did Johhny The Homicidal Maniac, Lenore, and Squee. My first issue came out a little while back - issue #13. I also work on other little projects on the side. JASON: I am currently working towards becoming a certified massage therapist. I've been learning to play the flute and accordion. I've also been writing tons and reading a lot. BREEHN: Did you ever notice that the word, "therapist" is the words, "the rapist" put together? 12. What are your favorite bands, movies, books, and comics? BREEHN: -Sam Cooke, Mr Bungle, The Soundtracks to Karate Kid 1 & 2 -North By Northwest, Evil Dead 2, The Usual Suspects, E.T., Psycho -The Prophet, Emerson's Essays, Various filmmaker's biographies -Hellboy JASON: BANDS- Self, Mike Patton stuff, Mason Jennings, Sleepytime Gorrila Museum, Ani DiFranco, Bob Dylan, Alanis Morisette MOVIES- The Fisher King, Jacob's Ladder, The Iron Giant, Schizopolis, American Beauty, Fight Club, E.T., Evil Dead 2 BOOKS & COMICS- The Holy Science, Emerson's Essays, The Prophet, A Confederacy Of Dunces, A Heartbreaking Work Of Staggering Genius, The Essential Rumi, Dune, Lenore, Squee 13. Any advice to aspiring cartoon creators? BREEHN: Sharpen your pencils a lot. Try to keep potty humor subtle and even a little classy. Read The Onion. JASON: Do what you do and don't let yourself get away with being afraid. Read the New Yorker and don't forget to laugh at yourself. Drink water. BREEHN: Take one of Chris Congleton’s™ ideas, then push him down and run away.

Beyond Grandpa © Lone Sausage Productions. GloomCookie Created by Serena Valentino & Ted Naifeh TM & ©. GloomCookie art © Breehn Burns