> 22 CLUES TO CALLING IT A NIGHT - YOU KNOW IT'S TIME TO GO HOME
>WHEN...
>
>1. You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.
>
>2. You've just had to get someone to help you pull your pants up
>in the ladies room.
>
>3. You suddenly decide you want to kick someone's ass.
>
>4. In your last trip to "pee" you realize you now look more like Tammy
>Faye Baker than the goddess you were just four hours ago.
>
>5. You drop your 3:00 a.m. burrito on the floor, pick it up and carry on
>eating.
>
>6. You start crying.
>
>7. There are less than three hours before you're due to start work.
>
>8. You've found a deeper side to the office nerd.
>
>9. The man you're flirting with used to be your 5th grade teacher.
>
>10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing
>becomes strangely overwhelming.
>
>11. You've forgotten where you live.
>
>12. You've started to sound like Jessie Ventura from the 60 cigarettes
>you've smoked, because (as you've mentioned like 10 times by now) you only smoke
>when you drink.
>
>13. You yell at the bartender, who (you think) cheated you by giving you
>just tonic, but that's just because you can no longer taste the gin or vodka.
>
>14. You think you're in bed, but your pillow feels strangely like pizza.
>
>15. You start every conversation with a booming, "Don't take this the
wrong way but..."
>
>16. You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when you sit on it.
>
>17. Your sloppy hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
>
>18. You're tired so you just sit on the floor (and why not!).
>
>19. You show your friends that girls can pee standing up if they really
>want to.
>
>20. The man who is buying you drinks is your nasty asshole ex-husband
>(boyfriend), and you are feeling frisky. (time to go home ALONE).
>
>21. You find out the man who you have been dancing with, kissing
>passionately, and who is taking your clothes off, on the dance floor, used
>to be a kid you babysat, or is your sons age. (not a bad thing other than
>you are now almost naked on the dance floor)
>
>22. You've been to the ATM 6 times already and it's suddenly dawned on you
>that, "Rent just isn't a big deal this month..."
>
>Keep the drinks coming!
>

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