The Superstars of Lesbianism must be a privileged few, because nobody I’ve ever seen looks anything like these gals. Yes, I looked at part of the damn video tape. Just to see what all the fuss is about, mind you, and to get an idea of what manner of entertainment grandma likes to spend her evenings on.

Holy Lord. It was like somethin wandered out of the evil whore parade, wavin boobs around and shoutin ungodly phrases of wild, reckless eroticism. The whole thing got me pretty worked up.

Them superstars need to take a good, long look in the mirror and get their priorities straight if you ask me. And they can start by wearing some blessed clothes. You know what I’d say if a superstar of lesbianism was standing right here in front of me? I’d say, “Listen up, superstar. It’s high-time you rethink this whole superstar of lesbianism approach of yours. --Start clean. You can’t just go around bursting into your goddamn lesbian mischief whenever the mood grabs you. Grow up. Forget about the lesbian thing and get a job with a future, like farming. That oughtta set you straight.”

I know it’s cruel. But tomorrow, when those little lesbian tears dry up, she’ll be thanking me. If only I could share my message of hope with every superstar of lesbianism... Pity.

But if my wife has some kind of sick appetite for this “entertainment”, then I guess my task is clear. She’s a tough nut, grandma. She must have thought she could hide this from me. Well, you screwed up now, woman! No more sneakin around in the wee hours of the night for you! And if she won’t turn from it, I know people that can take her by force, if need be.

TO BE CONTINUED...